A couple of gifts everyone will want this year

That's right - nothing says "I'm senile" like a hat that announces to the world "I am too old to remember to ask for my senior discount".
It's got a remote control and the cool looking people in the illustration just can't help but laugh at how big a weirdo you are. If I see this in your house, I will also assume you are hiding bodies in the basement.
I may buy both items for myself. That way I can put on my hat, break wind, and then point and blame it on the bear.