Day 12

A lot has happened since I last updated here. I am wri􀢢ng this post in ICU where my mother has been since her emergency surgery Thursday afternoon. All three of us, my parents and myself, found ourselves on Thursday at the point where a decision had to be made - death within one to three days vs. emergency surgery and a 25 % chance of survival. The doctors laid out the best case scenario and it was not pretty at all.

We are not at all out of the woods yet. We’ve been told it is still hour to hour. If she does get through this phase of the ordeal, recovery is going to be very difficult. I think I have been through every possible emotion of the last 12 days since this started with an ambulance ride to the emergency room. I find myself fluctuating between the peace of knowing we have done what we could and the guilt
of knowing that this is a terrible ordeal for my mother to go through with no guarantee that things will work out.

My goal is to return to work Monday after being away for nearly two weeks. I have decided that I need to get back to at least a bit of normality. My father is here a lot of the time so that covers us during the times I cannot be here. I am not sure what the long term will bring us. There are times that I have a tough time remembering what life was like before last Tuesday because since last Tuesday, we’ve been swept up in the ups and downs so much that there is not much room for anything else.

I was sitting in the car earlier for just a few moments of private time. The windows were down and the fall breeze was flowing through. It is a perfect day for marching band contests and football games. Those days seem so far away now.

I feel like I’ve aged ten years in the past twelve days. But, I have faith that many normal days lie ahead and no matter what the outcome ends up being here, we have tried. Some􀢢mes that is the most you can do.

Thank you to all of you who have reached out via various ways. I have not listened to a podcast in a long time but I hope to hear from all of my fellow podcasters again soon.