Self doubt

Self-doubt can be paralyzing. I get it all the time. I used to let it stop me in my tracks all the time. Now it only does part of the time.

I have self-doubt when I am looking at Twitter and get frustrated over something I see. My mind tries to stop me from entering the fray. Will I have to deal with a bunch of randos who don't agree with me? What good will it do to add my voice to the noise?

The answer is probably no good at all, of course.

Minds are not being changed on the internet in 280 characters.

I have self-doubt when I finish recording something for the podcast. I press stop and my mind is overwhelmed by whatever I perceived as negative during the recording. I coughed. I paused too much. I wasn't generic enough for EVERYONE to like me. At that moment, I can't think of one positive thing that I captured in the recording.

I have self-doubt when I see something approaching on my calendar that is going to put me out of my comfort zone. A dentist appointment is a good example of this. It's so uncomfortable having someone poke around my teeth. Also, when I sign up to volunteer at an event. Will the other people working find me acceptable, easy going, etc.?

But, more and more as life's clock is ticking down, I just keep moving forward and I try to ignore self-doubt and all the fun that comes along with it.

I wish I had moved forward and done everything I needed to and wanted to all the times that I let self-doubt prevent me from doing so but all that time and all those chances are gone.

So, I tweet that tweet I wouldn't have tweeted a year ago whether it does any good or not. I keep and even publish the whole recording. I go to my dentist appointments on a regular schedule. I volunteer and things go just fine.

I make new memories. I make new friends. I experience new things that I discuss on the podcast or write about here.

I keep going.

I keep growing.