The conversation game

I was sitting listening to a conversation last night and there were several times that I could have jumped in. I had stories that would have fit into the flow and all that but I didn't. I just sat there listening and hardly said a thing and I was just out on the deck reading fictional conversations between other people when this popped into my mind because it has been happening more and more lately.

There have been times recently when there have been awkward silences I could have filled in or I have found myself talking to someone and struggling with what to say next but it's not that I am at a loss for words. The words are in my head and I wait for the natural pauses where I could say them and then I let those pauses go right on by. What is the point, I think.

I've been talking for a good chunk of almost forty-six years and as I get older, I've about said what I need to say and maybe I get more out of listening, that might be true, but that's not really why I am saying less. I think that a lot of the time I'm just tired of talking. I appreciate the silence more than I ever have and I am also weary of trying to interpret the real feelings hidden behind the words that people say and frankly, a lot of the time, I'm tired of playing the conversation game.